Where do I start explaining 20+ years of feeling punished by my own body? How looking in the mirror destroys me to the point of tears and meltdowns. Why does my scale dominate my life? So many questions yet, the answers are no where to be found. This mirror and scale mishmash, for most people tell the truth….. Why not for me? What have I done to deserve such deceit? Why do I let this drive me? I know I shouldn’t step on the scale daily, hoping for it to spit out this magical number. Where did this number emerge from anyway? I try to think back to a time where this number meant nothing to me….and I can’t…. So what is it about this number that has become so predominating. Why has something so meaningless become so detrimental to me for all these years. As this number resonates through me all day, everyday I feel like a failure. I’ve failed to achieve this magical unrealistic goal. I’ve failed to overcome this constant battle of overweight ugliness. The voice of hate and judgement towards myself speaking ever so clear that I have no choice but to listen…….